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Tom Brady

Tom Brady

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As the eyes of the nation fell on the NFL season opener last night, millions of Americans inevitably came to the same conclusion:

THE VIKINGS ARE BETTER THAN BOTH OF THOSE TEAMS.

That’s obvious.

The Bucs and the Cowboys can have fun shooting it out and running track meets against other teams all year. Have a blast trying to win games 49-45 boys.

When you play Minnesota it won’t work.

Their defense won’t allow it.

In the meantime can we focus on just how ridiculous Tom Brady is? He goes to Tampa Bay, wins a super bowl in his mid-40s, and finds his media voice that apparently had been muzzled while he was in New England for two decades.

Do me a favor Tom:

Go back to being a mute.

Tom Brady…You are the last person in the world I want to hear complaining about how the game has changed, when you are almost solely responsible for, and the biggest beneficiary of, it.

Brady recently said this…

“Every hard hit is a penalty on the defense. I feel like they penalize defensive players for offensive mistakes.”

“I think it’s really a disservice to the sport, because the sport isn’t being played at a high level like I believe that it once was,”

In 2008, shortly removed from the 2007 Patriots infamous 18-1 failed perfect season, Brady tore up his knee week 1 and missed the entire year.

Ever since the NFL has done whatever they can to product the league’s golden boy.

They changed the rules specifically for Tom Brady, saying players could no longer hit quarterbacks high OR low anymore.

But that hasn’t stopped him from complaining every time he’s been grazed since.

There’s nothing more pathetic than watching Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers out there on Sundays begging for a flag.

I find it disgracefully hilarious that Tom Brady did an interview talking about how the state of the game has gone down hill because the rules are against the defenses and he hates that.

Really?

You’ve made your entire fucking living off of it.

Hall of Famers Warren Moon, Jim Kelly, Steve Young, Joe Montana, Dan Marino, Brett Favre, and John Elway would’ve produced the same gaudy numbers Brady has acquired if the rules of the league were the same then as they are now. Every one of them would’ve thrived in Brady’s era.

The difference is Brady wouldn’t have survived in theirs.

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He’d have been Rick Mirer.

In 1992 half the league’s teams played on astroturf. Can you Imagine Brady getting sacked during that time? He complains now about a hangnail. How about a few bodyslams a year on what was essentially carpet over concrete painted green? (Ask Jim McMahon about that one.)

Now that Brady has crawled out from under Bill Belichick’s shell, and is no longer subservient to the Patriot Way, he seems to have found a voice that allows him to express thoughts other than boring sports cliches.

Good for him.

I’m proud of you Tom.

Unfortunately you’re a fucking hypocrite.

You have the gull to stand in front of the sporting news world and bash the rules of a game that have allowed you to win 7 rings, become one of the most recognizable faces on the planet, and spoon-fed you the title of ‘greatest of all-time.’

Please.

I can’t wait till you meet the Vikings in the playoffs.

Rules be damned…We’ll have an old-school defense ready and waiting for ya.

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