Ever notice how easy it is to tell your buddy exactly what to do when he comes to you about any of his marital dilemmas? Looking at it from the outside is so easy. Living in it isn’t. The thought running through my head is always ‘how can I phrase this to cause her the least amount of pain or frustration?’ Well…I’m still learning on the job, but can definitively say it’s wise to hit the dump button on that train of thought. That line of thinking leads to disaster. Let’s face it. We all do stupid shit. And if you’ve been married for any amount of time your wife probably knows you better than you know yourself.
Instead of hedging your bets and saying ‘sorry I’m late, the course was so crowded, it took forever to play 18 and my phone died…etc.’ It’s best to come home and flat out say ‘I know I said I’d be home after 18 but I was having so much damn fun with the guys that I couldn’t pass up the chance to keep playing.’ After that apologize, don’t plan on playing golf again for quite awhile, (which you should have already gauged and pre-calculated) get your ass off the couch, and ‘see a need, fill a need’ the next few days. Maybe an impromptu dinner, night out and/or surprisingly solving a lingering household maintenance issue during that stretch of time is also a good idea. And never ask her any questions about what she’s doing during this time frame. If she grabs her purse and keys and heads out the door you bite your lip. Don’t even get curious. Follow that with a promise (not outwardly to her, but inwardly to yourself) to not make these sort of occurrences a common place. It’s best they be an extreme outlier, followed with straight up honesty in the event they take place again.
Cutting corners is the worst possible thing you can do.
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