Why would anyone own an umbrella?

If it rains, you run from building/house to car. Takes 5 seconds. Damn things are a hassle to open, a pain in the ass to lock in, and they come with a stigma of bad luck attached to opening them while being inside. And if you subscribe to SED stigma, you’re gonna get the same amount of wet standing outside opening it up as you would just running to your car…and that’s assuming you don’t hit a snag in the process.

Why the umbrella?


I’m convinced these people enjoy the look of being classy/sophisticated while holding an umbrella. They take a certain amount of sick pride parading around, holding that thing, conveying everything is hunkie dorie in their world. Look at me, I’m not even getting wet

Reality is it’s water. You’ll dry off.

And if by some chance you end up in a crazy situation, outside for too long, in the rain. Embrace being damp. Don’t fight it. Take pride in walking back to that office soaked, chin held high. It’s not like you’re walking back to your desk on a sunny day, dripping, after a trip to the community restroom. Everyone knows it’s raining outside. Deal with it.

Better than dealing with an umbrella.