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The Waiter

The Waiter

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My wife and I went bowling last night. It was fun. First we ate. Not as fun. The food was okay and the atmosphere was fine. The waiter was just too much.

I don’t need to be checked in on every 5 minutes. I can maybe see checking in 2 or 3 times during the meal, asking if everything is okay, getting the one word answer and moving on. This guy wanted to have conversations, most times interrupting ours in the process. Awkward pauses, saying things like ‘Whoa, my kinda man!’ in the phoniest of tones after I ordered a simple cheeseburger and beer.

And he just kept coming back and back and back. After awhile you could see him looming and stomping our way from a distance, circling around other tables to get to us. Always something more uninteresting to say than the next. At one point he starting talking to us about restaurant policy. I wanted to say “dude, what is it about my body language and the one-word answers I’ve been giving that leads you to think I’m even mildly interested in any of this?”

No doubt he left that whole experience thinking he crushed it. Really won us over. That we loved him and couldn’t stop talking about him.

Well he would be correct about that last part. My wife and I definitely talked about him. I just kept thinking about how hard it would be to live life that way. A life where you have no ability to read the room. No common sense. No feel for when things are awkward, uncomfortable, and zero ability to sense the slightest human suffering. OR maybe he knows exactly whats going on and this is his ‘role’ at his job. This is his salesman demeanor. That scenario is so much worse.

But maybe people like this sort of guy. Maybe some people go out to dinner for the evening and enjoy that kind of banter…even hope they are served by someone like him.

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Me? I hope for uninterrupted one on one time with my wife, being away from the kids for a few hours, and not having to deal with an annoying stranger’s asinine questions every 5 minutes.

And a decent burger with a cold beer.

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