Man, I never look forward to anything anymore. I was driving around today thinking about when I was younger. I’d look forward to so many things. The summer would come and it would have a certain feel to it. The winter, fall, spring, holidays, football season, same thing. They all had different feels. Pleasurable in their own ways. Now no matter what looms I don’t look forward to it.
Maybe it’s a midlife thing.
Even stuff I do allow myself to look forward to quickly spreads doom to my brain because I know it’s only temporary. Which is also how I think about it in the moment if I’m doing it. Tough to enjoy because I know it won’t last. It’ll be coming to an end.