Daily Dosages


—The Twins are 7-5 so far this year in 9 inning games. They’re 0-4 in double-headers and 0-5 in extra innings.

—It’s clear at this point that Harrison would rather memorize and repeat everything I say rather than listen to my content and actually do what I said. Unless we are outside, where he listens and obeys me all the time without fail for some reason.

—My mother-in-law came downstairs last night, asked me what I was cooking, and completely took over the kitchen after announcing she couldn’t eat that. I’m still a rookie chef. I could use as much peace and quiet as possible to focus on what I’m doing in the kitchen. I get plenty of distractions from the little ones without any other added noise. Plus I gotta try to keep one eye on the Twins game. But I understand her line of thinking: It’s much more important to fill me in on how she used to eat chips but now the doctor said she couldn’t anymore and she’s eating fruit instead…while boxing me out of making actual dinner for 6 other people, rummaging through the kitchen complaining about where all the dishes are located and how some of them are dirty, pouring her bag of grapes into a colander, and washing them off in the sink for 5 minutes, all the while telling me more fascinating things about her new diet. Meanwhile everything on my stove remains either a long reach to get to or inaccessible, based on her whereabouts. What a pleasure. Side note: I love cooking on the grill. Not necessarily because I’m good at it, but because the possibility of anything like that happening outside while I’m out manning the grill is 0%.

—Tabitha works her ass off all day, talking about social media in jargon that completely escapes me while having loads of virtual meetings about god knows what. I’m here for how hard she works. Happy for the things we have…I try to do what I can to help out in any capacity when needed…Next sentence: Don’t tell me the kids are fine in the office when I see them running in there and I come to pull them out, and then instantly get mad when they get too loud 5 minutes later. Did you think our 3 and 4 year olds were going to sit in the office with you quietly and respectfully while you work? It’s my fault though. It’s a total “fool me once” situation that I’ve let go on way too long. From now on, now matter what my better half says, the kids won’t be allowed in the office for any reason whatsoever.

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